birthday madness

baking on my birthday

before the red velvet brownies with GREEN cream cheese frosting on my rainny birthday

baking 6 months pregnant

my cupcake apron

a nice surprise to wake up from my awesome sister

 Delicioso!

cutest gift from my grandma <3 and whoa, look at that belly from the front!!

past half way....at six months

and then it was 6 months....

at six months i'm definitely, clearly, obviously pregnant. at my last dr appointment i had gained exactly 16 pounds and perfectly on track, although my jaw dropped and i was a little in shock. it's not so easy to gain back all the weight (and them some!) you worked so hard to get off and to keep it off. anyhow, im rocking my baby bump and when i go out, its obviously obvious there's a baby somewhere in there.

at six months i'm getting anxious. antsy. and anxiously antsy overwhelmed. there's so much to do and never enough time or energy to do it. and i know it'll only get harder to do things from here! (which contributes to the antsy anxiousness). i want everything to be ready for my bambino now, but i know i'll never really be ready. he'll just arrive and it'll just work itself out naturally.

at six months i'm beginning to doubt my abilities. with my anxious overwhelmedness, i'm starting to question me being able to do this, be a mom. before it was the whole giving birth that freaked me out. well, i dont think that will ever go away...but rather i'm learning to deal with it, reading articles, books, taking classes, being educated and trying to learn how to manage pain and anxiety with relaxing and finding my happy place. but now, it's the whole being a mom. having an actual baby to take care of, in addition to life, in addition to not loosing myself. i realize i wont loose myself, but sometimes it's so easy to loose yourself in the day to day of everything. work, chores, work, chores, chores, bills, etc etc. it took me until recently to balance my office job and myself, and i lost a bit of my art along the way.

at six months i'm crafting the stress away. at six months the crafts contribute to the anxious overwhelming antsyness. i've always crafted away my worries and gone into my happy place. at six months i craft and think to myself there are so many other things i should be doing to get ready for bambino. there's so much to do and i'm crafting. but i'm learning the balance between what needs to get done and what i need to do for my self and my own sanity.

at six months the hormones flare back up. my fingers swell at night and when its hot. i wake up and can't go back to sleep (though i found out its often because im hungry so i eat a small something and lay back down).at six months our bathroom is almost done. its harder to get in and out of the big truck without running boards or the tub for that matter. at six months bambino dances on my bladder and i feel him all the time, flip, kick, hiccup, hiccup, dance, dance, dance. i smell everything (in the tub i could smell instantly when hubby  brought in the christmas tree). at six months i've never been more in love with my husband. and happy. and reflective on all the things and roads it took us to get here. last night i framed some little collages of us over the years. he said "we've done so much together." at six months im tired. i want to nap at work. i look at baby stuff online, i write blogs, i ponder babies and wish i could just be home. at six months i do way more housework than i have in a long time, trying to prepare myself for his arrival.

at six months i turn 27

i love crunchy leaves

after a busy week of conference, work, docter's appointments, work and getting ready, hubs and i got to relax in the trees and the leaves. fall has always been my favorite season. it's a time where all my senses are activated: my eyes are stimulated with colors and prancing leaves, my nose tickled by damp asphalt and leaves, nonstop pumpkin everything and the roaring sound of the wind and of course, stomping in crunchy leaves. that will never get old to me. i can't think of a better place to spend my anniversary with my high school sweetie than fall in yosemite. some years we miss the yellowing falling leaves, but other years like this one, we catch it perfect timing.

we camp on the outskirts of the park, in the stanislaus forest, away from all the other mainstream campers (meaning, toliets, running water, etc). it's the most perfect and peaceful time where we reconnect with one another, ourselves, and mother nature. there are many times during our day to day where our differences come out and sometimes clash (of course) but in the trees, we always come together, we are in common. serene.

this year, as usual, we hoped to make it into the high country and alas, the pass closes. so, we park it somewhere off of sawmill mountain, to a campsite we scoped out last year near a river.  and it was perfect!

the coolest thing about this site wasn't just that it was exclusive, or that it came with firewood, or that it was a big flat area, but that it rained yellow leaves. in the tent when the wind would blow, you could hear the leaves falling like rain. amazing.

one luxury was added this year, a portable propane heater... what a difference at 28 degrees at night. especially when you're pregnant and have to pee at some odd hour in the morning and freeze your butt off...literally. somehow hubs and i got on the same pee cycle and that worked out perfectly for me and bambino!


since the pass was closed, we decided to get up early saturday and bike in the valley. last year we had a blast so, what the hay.

the beauties of yosemite are just so much more real and in your face when youre on the ground with a panoramic view.  you can bike around so much faster than walking! and beats driving anyday.

bambino at 20 weeks. half way there....

we searched all the stores in the valley for something for our bambino but left somewhat disappointed. biking pregnant proved to be a little difficult, something that never really crossed my mind. but, we still had a great time, cruising around and seeing everything from the ground level. the deciduous trees were at their prime and beautiful.

day two in the park we decided drive out towards wawona and mariposa grove.

 

we left the forest monday after some riding around on dirt roads and some trekking along the river bed. the last day is always the hardest. by then we need showers pretty bad, i miss my kitties and my plush bed, but never ever want to leave such a beautiful place. it's so incredibility to spend so many days in a row with your love, snuggling and just having a good time. on our way out we stopped at one more place, a gas station/ general store...and found something special for our little boy!

BAMBINO

november, november

as much as i love october, there are so many more things i love about november, especially THIS november.

but first, lil bits o' october....

18.5 weeks

eaarings i made for alice

 

halloween and the office

 so, november, november!

for many months my office (mostly my incredible talented work partner) has planned a student run conference for teachers based on the different elements of hip-hop. so, last week i spent 3 whole days in orange county (what a  ritzy place that is) working my bootay off many many hours each day. those who really know me know i hate the mornings, and always have. this week, i found myself going to bed with aching feet at midnight and rising before the sun, 5-6am ish, way off my normal prego schedule of sleeping early and as much as possible. i can honestly say the only thing i love about being up that early is the fresh air and the sun rise (tho id rather see it set...). as much as i missed home (and always do) this is the most fun i've ever had putting on a conference. i kept my attitude positive despite my pure exhaustion and everything flew by me. baby bambin even went to his/her first dance party...we even did the stanky leg... AAHAH

i flew back home saturday night and expected hubs to be gone for a party at his bros. which was fine by me, i needed to sleep! when mo dropped me off i found the lights on and his truck in the driveway (which was expected since he was going to get a ride). rather than an empty house, i found an unlocked door, a kitty and a handsome hubby. he had cleaned the house and dressed up for my return. he even bought me flowers. what a lucky lady i am!

sunday was our six year anniversary.

 

it was storming good and we spent the morning cuddling and listening to the rain. we went out to our favorite breakfast restaurant with our favorite server and got our favorite breakfasts and some free hashbrowns for our anniversary :) he even let me switch tables so i could watch the rain outside (i LOVE THE RAIN). hubs and i proceeded to do some of our favorite things; driving in the rain, going to rei for boots, getting ready for next weekend, watching tv, and spending all day together)

TODAY is ULTRASOUND DAY and i'm just too excited and can hardly wait till 150....soo i find myself here updating, killing time. before i go in im supposed to drink 32 oz of water an hour before and NOT PEE. i'm guessing this will prove to be difficult for a pregnant woman.... but we shall seee!!! i've wanted my first to be a girl for a long time, therefore my instinct is that it is a BOY. hubs says that instincts make no sense because he will just guess what he wants it to be! that just goes to show how opposite we can operate :) but really we both just want a healthy happy baby, boyy or girl. IM JUST DYIN TO KNO! and i hope baby bambin cooperates with the situation! that lil pum'kin swims around a lot in my belly these days (for almost a month) and we have been tryin hard for hubs to feel it too with no such luck, yet.

This thursday i'll be 5 months and am finally, really starting to show.

this weekend is our 6th annual anniversary camping trip up to our favorite place, yosemite. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that the pass will stay open (so far so good even with the storm yesterday) so we can go up into the high county (my favorite part of yosemite and beyond). its been a long time since we have been camping cuz we have been so busy, and this just might be the last trip before the baby comes...but we shall see, we are off season campers, the colder the better ;)

alas, it's time for me to get ready and drink my water and hopefully, find out what the sex of the baby is!